Severus: Secret Sex Icon?
by Jiang Qing
Summary: Snape is famously not like Marmite. You can love him, hate him, like him, lust for him... the list goes on. For all those out there who DON'T understand why the Potions Master is so adored, please read and be enlightened. For all those who do know, ENJOY.


**Severus: A Secret Sex Icon? **

_**or**_

**Why We All Pity the Fool, Lily Potter. **

Okay, I'll admit it. For all of you story-hungry people out there, I am now going to confess that this is not a work of fiction. Neither, must I add, is it an extended yarn consisting only of pure fact. No, this is made up entirely of pure _opinion,_ an extended opinion of which I hope, if you do not exactly agree with it, that you will all enjoy. It is now that I expect the story-hungry readers to start such frowning and outraged mutters: 'Then this should be posted in forums, or Tumblr, or anything else that isn't !'. I am sure such sentiments will be posted through the reviews; that is, if I get any reviews at all. Do I mind? No. This has been building for a _long_ time and it's time that I got it off my chest. (Besides, I fucking _hate _Tumblr).

After that extensive authors note, it's time to get down to business. By business, I naturally am referring to the essay's title, the complicated character of Severus Snape. It's time to get down to Severus Snape. For the sake of being disgusting, let's imagine getting down _on_ Severus Snape. Or rather, let's not. The question is, why is Severus Snape so damn _alluring? _J.K Rowling quoted in one of her interviews (I'm paraphrasing here, c'mon this isn't a _real_ essay) that she intended Severus to be a vile character; a bully, bleak-hearted, inclined to favouritism, unable to conjure any sympathy from the audience (at least, until the end). This is all true. Yet, and this is a _big _yet, there's something about the man that makes you want to jump him.

Let us start with the aesthetics, for it is a shallow world we live in, and I make no exception. In the books, Severus is described as 'like an over-grown bat' with 'long, greasy black hair', 'a hooked nose', 'sallow skin' and 'piercing black eyes that held no warmth at all'. Now, this is just the description from the _books. _Doesn't that already push some buttons? Pale skin, black hair, black eyes… I like. I like a lot. He has charisma. It is already apparent that Severus is not just another blonde surfer, grabbing his board and heading to the black-lake. _Why _do his eyes hold no warmth at all? J.K obviously wants us to jump to the conclusion that Severus is a HORRIBLE MAN. She goes as far to convince us that he is a HORRIBLE MAN with the way he treats Hero-Harry. However, too many of us are too intelligent to concede that Severus is so two-dimensional. Severus, with his black eyes and his sneer obviously has a PAST. And what do us women love? A PAST. We want to make him forget his PAST so his FUTURE is wonderful. We want to make it _all better. _We believe in ourselves that we can change this man, that we can change _any _man. So, Severus has become a project. Unfortunately, being fictional, he is an unrealistic project. However, let us fantasize.

I'll now be bringing this down a notch. The film-verse of Severus Snape is undoubtedly some sort of unsung sex-god. I mean… Alan Rickman. ALAN RICKMAN. I like Alan Rickman, I've always liked Alan Rickman. As an actor, I think he's PDG (that's Pretty Damn Good to all those out there who don't know). In any other film, apart from the Potters, I would rate his attractiveness at about an eight, which for me is very high. Watching HP, my love goes off the scale. Rickman's gorgeousness as Severus is one interesting little cocktail. I'll start at the most obvious: The voice. His voice is like treacle being poured over your head. You can _bask_ in that voice. The voice alone is enough to make any woman cross their legs, hum a calming tune and hope for the best. I won't lie to you, I sat in the cinema during 'The Deathly Hallows Part 2' and sighed with dizzying pleasure every time Rickman uttered so much as one of those stretched syllables. So slow, so deep, so spellbinding… (no pun intended). The voice has the ability to create love of the _un_purest sort. Then of course, the way he looks. Pale and interesting is so much more _fascinating_ than brown and packaged. The lines on Rickman's face, although they are signs of ageing, also remind us of his TROUBLED PAST. Rickman has the 'classical' good looks; the ones that perhaps went 'out of fashion' a couple of decades ago. Whatever, I've never been a fashion junkie. This, I realise, is going on for far too long. I'll hurry it up. Rickman has Snape down to a T. The way he glides, the way he looks, his bitterness, his anger, his intelligence, his facial expressions… his mercy. If I were Severus, _I_ would hate Harry. It's human nature. But no, he is clearly intended to be the _bad guy._ Right, moving along; his costume- those tight black robes complete with billowing cloak. They leave a lot to the imagination, and trust me, I'm not lacking in that. Give me a well-clad Severus any day, rather than the shirt-ripping, Twilight poser, Jacob Black.

Another main reason why Severus is quite so alluring is because he's UNTOUCHABLE. He (sadly) is still so in love with the deceased Lily Potter that he would never, ever be properly romantically involved with anyone else. He's constructed an invisible barrier around himself, and his aptitude for occlumency makes him damn difficult to read at all. The natural reaction of not being able to read someone is usually fear. Yes, if Severus was a real man, I would be terrified. So many twists, turns and hidden corners- all blocked from view, but crying out to be explored. As a character, Severus is so complex that it would probably takes _years_ to completely work him out. Are we so infatuated that would be willing to spend years with Severus, opening up all the dark coverts of his past? Perhaps. Or is it the secrets that make us _yearn_ for him? I have a feeling that J.K only revealed the tip of the iceberg, which is sad 'cos he died. Anyway, back to the point: Severus is in love with Lily Potter. He can't have Lily Potter, which against all odds, almost certainly made Severus hanker after her all the more. We can never have Severus Snape. And so one of the great philosophies of life raises its ugly head: _We always want what we can't have. _Feel free to shed those tears, go ahead and gnash those teeth. However, if you are inclined to think dirty (you can judge for yourself if I am) you can always go down the path of thinking that Severus must have been so distraught he would have had plenty of casual, angry sex. If he were an actual existent man, that is. I'm saying _nothing. _

Severus and his sex appeal is also applicable to the matter of his genius. Lupin referred to him as 'intelligent and cunning'. Who doesn't like a clever man? The only thing that may be appealing about a man with sawdust for brains (look and niceties aside) is to see how far you can confuse him, and in the shortest time. Harsh? Definitely. Truthful? I think so. A dim bloke, or indeed bint, _will_ be taken advantage of in some way or another. Just check out all those Death Eaters that were used as Voldemort's human shield. It's a question of power, and anybody would like to know that they have the upper hand, even if they don't want to admit it. With Snape, he unquestionably would have the upper hand. It would be he taking the advantage. And my God, let Severus take advantage of us. Genius isn't geeky, it's something to have a downright _passion _for.

I'm now going to start winding down. Not because I haven't got a lot more to say, but because I'm terrified of boring you all to death. Snape is neither a good or evil person. I can't say that after I read 'The Deathly Hallows' I fell down the path of 'OMG SNAPE LOVED LILY, HE'S SO MISUNDERSTOOD AND HE'S SUCH A GOOD MAN'. Mostly because, I admit, I worked out that he was in love with Lily anyway (so what?) and also because I honestly don't believe that a 'Mary Sue' can be a sane or realistic choice to have a fixation on (YEAH Edward Cullen fans). It is common knowledge to all those who read the books that Severus dabbled strongly in the Dark Arts. Is that a terrible thing? Of course it is, and yes he should be blamed. He killed, tortured and more, devoted to it all too much to give it up for Lily until faced with her death. Lily didn't like it and neither did James, but _hey ho_ they had been spoilt and adored all their lives. Snape went through (probable) hell through his childhood, and was bullied at Hogwarts by the erm, 'good guy'. It can be argued that _Harry_ didn't turn to the dark side, and he had a terrible life. Well, I think it's partly to do with coping mechanisms- Severus partly felt he _needed_ the Dark Arts, as well as getting vicious pleasure in them. Harry, a completely different person, felt that he didn't. Perhaps he was stronger than Snape, perhaps he was just plain two-dimensional and the simplest way for J.K to make her point. Whatever. Severus needing the Dark Arts makes him vulnerable in my book, and vulnerable deserves a cuddle. (Note: Harry was also adored. Not at the Dursley's maybe, but in the Wizarding world he was spoilt and worshipped by many. Plus everyone EXPECTED him to be against Volds. Just a thought). I also feel that Snape was pushed into the Dark Arts, just like Draco. He was made to feel worthless, and hey! In the Dark Arts he suddenly had worth. I'm not condoning him, just giving a differing opinion. His natural aura made his magic look dark, while James' natural presence made his magic look like 'a bit of fun'. Snape knew what he was doing. I'm not suggesting that SERIAL KILLERS ARE SEXY, just that I think he deserves about a tonne more respect than Potter Senior. With a realisation of his love, what he had done, and a massive guilt trip from Dumbledore, Severus stopped being a 'Death Eater looking for revenge' and actually became more redeemable. This was HIS choice. Both Volds AND Dumbledore let him down (DD didn't save Lily) yet he still stuck with the Headmaster. Hmm. I admire him for that. However, spying for Voldemort, he still allowed the Muggle Studies teacher to be killed, amongst other things. 'No one's that good an actor'- he wasn't good, he wasn't bad- he still admired the Dark Arts for their power, even knowing that they were wrong. He stood alone, like he did for most of his life. Not everyone can be a Gary-Stu-Harry. Besides, in 'The Half Blood Prince', Harry said in terms of the Defence Against The Dark Arts teacher 'I'm holding out for another death'. Snape saved Harry (secretly) practically every fucking year. This is getting complicated. I ADMIRE THE MAN. I don't personally think he ever 'loved' or admired Voldemort, like say Bellatrix Lestrange, but I genuinely think he respected Dumbledore. He wasn't perfect, basically. Christ, I have no idea what point I'm trying to make. Just trust me on this; it's trying to be a valid one.

LASTLY (I promise) I have a T-Shirt saying 'I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good WITH SEVERUS SNAPE', and I wore it to the cinema, and I'm wearing it now 3. Please feel free to give more opinions on why you love/hate/like Severus. I'll always be interested.

So. Severus: Secret Sex Icon?


End file.
